The Retired Guys

March 31, 2018

Gloria Allred contacted me for the second in a series of interviews which she has documented as, “The Trouble with Fire Station 14.” As you may recall, her daughter, Ms. Lisa Bloom, was scheduled to conduct the second and possibly third interview with me but has been yanked from those duties by her mother, who feels there’s a “Deep State” conspiracy surroundin’ the overall workin’ environment that was created by all three of the Task Force Commanders.

Ms. Allred believes there is a much deeper and disturbin’ problem that existed at Fire Station 14 and has asked for my help in explainin’ the behaviors and mindsets of those Station Commanders from approximately early 1998 to mid 2007. Needless to say, I was shocked by her revelations and beliefs that there were any problems at 14’s, real or perceived. However, I agreed to fully cooperate with her continuing investigation.

Her first concern was the methods used for hirin’ Captain II’s for SOD days. She explained her sources revealed to her that two Captain II’s in particular were in the habit of routinely bypassin’ standard hirin’ procedures to “Sharp Shoot” SOD days and that they raised a leg onto one of the front office trash cans so they could point to the office calendar to pick their days. With glarin’ eyes focused toward me, Ms. Allred wanted to know why these Station Commanders had to have one foot on a trash can to select their overtime days.

I explained that there were two front office trash cans. If there was any waste in one can, they would simply empty it into the other trash can and turn the empty can upside down. Then they would raise a leg to balance themselves on the bottom of the trash can while pointin’ their bruised and burly fingers at the days they wanted to work. With a sigh of relief in her voice, Ms. Allred stated, “Well, at least these gentlemen maintained some respect and order by not standin’ in a trash can.”

But Ms. Allred had more questions. She asked, “Why did these Station Commanders have to hide in the front office to pick their overtime days?” I told her they were not hidin’. I said they did this same routine in the kitchen. However, I explained when they were in the kitchen, they’d raise a leg and rest their foot on the kitchen bench, no trash can needed. I then explained to her that no rules were broken and all hirin’ procedures were followed in accordance to all regulations and the Manual of Operations.

Well, Ms. Allred still thought she smelled a rat. She reluctantly concluded her interview but sensed my answers were nothin’ more than a smoke screen for the awful truth.

She seemed more interested than ever to uncover a conspiracy that she believed was lurkin’ in the shadows. I explained my willingness to cooperate with her and that I had nothin’ to hide.

Not satisfied with my transparency, she promised with the help of her daughter, Ms. Bloom, that they would blow up Fire Station 14. I know, I reminded her she was about 10 years too late.

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