TV commercials are out of control. Between the never endin’ auto/home insurance commercials we also get to listen to Joe Namath and Mike Ditka pitch Medicare Advantage Plan benefits that we might be eligible for but maybe not gettin’ if we don’t call their 1-800 hotline. And if these commercials don’t drive you nuts there’s all the medical commercials describin’ the various drugs that are available to cure everythin’ from HIV to COPD and all the deadly side effects these medications might cause. Oddly enough these commercials make my eyelids very heavy and I become slightly unconscious for a few minutes, almost like I was in the back row of an EMT recertification class. I always felt refreshed after those classes but my retention level was a total zero on the day of the final exam.
I don’t watch much news anymore and I try to avoid stayin’ current with the latest national news. However, once in a while I do like to keep up with the latest weather information but that’s usually interrupted by another car chase, which seems to have escalated in the last few months. I haven’t figured out why these car chases are bein’ televised, but it seems to be a strange coincidence that most of these chases take place durin’ Judge Judy’s courtroom show. The entertainment value watchin’ people gettin’ hammered by her seems a heck of a lot more interestin’ then watchin’ some clown drivin’ around on two flat tires.
Other excitin’ news includes the on-again off-again engagement of J-Lo and A-Rod. Last week they announced that they were callin’ it quits. The latest rumor is they will probably stay together. I must admit I’ve had a few sleepless nights wonderin’ what the final outcome of their relationship will be but after all, since they are a high-profile POWER COUPLE, the pressure and responsibility that comes with that title must be overwhelmin’. I wonder if it’s similar to a Captain I’s pressure-cookin’ position at a Task Force station when he knows all the “After Midnight” runs will be “Engine Only.” Of course, I was damn lucky. I had a TFC that was very concerned about the workload shouldered by the Engine Co. and usually stuck his head out of his doorway and asked, “Is that for the truck?”
Have you ever noticed the three black stripes that run along the exterior sides of school buses? They’re actually there for a reason. The bottom stripe indicates the floor of the bus. The middle stripe indicates the bottom of the seat and the top stripe shows where the top of the seat is located. Why is this important? Well, if there’s an incident involvin’ a school bus, such as a rollover, Firefighters can identify portions of the bus when usin’ forcible entry tools.
So the next time you’re drivin’ around with your rotary saw by your side and you see a school bus close by you can run over and make a few cuts and see for yourself how accurate them stripes are. And who knows, it might be a question on an upcomin’ interview for Capt. I or II. Although if it’s an interview for Capt. II you’d most likely be asked, “So after makin’ a ventilation hole in a roof how long do you sit around admirin’ your perfectly cut hole?”
You’ve heard of the acronyms BTDT (Been There Done That), BRB (Be Right Back), and BBS (Be Back Soon.) Well, some college students unable to enjoy Florida’s weather and the “Spring Break” party scene have come up with a new acronym. This latest one is FOMO (Fear of Missin’ Out). There’s a variety of reasons for this college-aged fear includin’ travel issues, lack of money from Mom or Dad, and diet restrictions. Yea, if you can’t pound down 20 beers in 15 minutes I don’t think you’re allowed within a mile of Miami Beach.
However, I’m not bothered about missin’ out on the party scene. Ever Since Bob Munoa stopped handin’ out invitations to his elaborate Christmas parties I pretty much got over my FOMO.
AC
KEEP SMILIN’!
choppedup@att.net
