The LAFD chaplains, in cooperation with the Los Angeles Firemen’s Relief Association, have formed a new alliance for surviving LAFD spouses. The group is called the LAFD Family Support Group. It is for those who have lost a loved one, either active or retired. The goal is to have the members of this group come alongside those who have suffered a loss and to walk alongside them through the difficult transition from being a spouse to becoming a widow.
We have watched so many times as a surviving spouse and family become overwhelmed by the pain of grieving over the loss of their loved one. They must take on many arduous tasks, often with no advance notice: First there is the responsibility of making the funeral arrangements. Once the service is complete, the additional stress that comes when dealing with the mountain of paper work necessary to receive survivor’s benefits and handling other financial matters is more than most can handle alone.
Through the first stages following a member’s death, the men and women of the LAFD are ever-present and ready to lend a hand. But as the days and weeks pass, the families may see a declining representation of the fire family. They often feel a sense of abandonment and despair in dealing with this very difficult transition.
The LAFD family typically wants to be present and continue to help in these situations, but often wonder how to help or when is the appropriate time to contact the family to see what needs they may have.
This is where the LAFD Family support group will fill the void. The group will come alongside the surviving families to assist with their needs and build lasting relationships. This group will also strive to keep them involved and connected with the LAFD by inviting them to participate or volunteer in our annual events such as:
• LAFD Memorial Ceremony
• The Kemper Softball Classic
• LAFD Golf Invitational
• Hope for Firefighters
The LAFD Family Support Group has started to identify surviving spouses and connecting with them, surveying their needs and building relationships. The Family Support Group is also reaching out to active and retired members who would like to volunteer their time and “fix it” skills to help surviving spouses and their families with needs around the home. Some of those needs would be:
• Plumbing repairs
• Roof repair
• Landscaping issues
• General repairs/ Construction
• Automotive repair
• Grief counseling
This amazing Family Support Group will be led by three ladies that have experienced the loss of a spouse and LAFD member. They have been so strong in making the transition from spouse to survivor. Their hearts are ready to lead this group and can assist other LAFD families in this very difficult transition.
The chairperson of the Family Support Group is Jan Graf. She will have assistance from two co-chairs, Lori Harris and Valerie Lawrence. They will be coordinating their efforts with the rest of the members of the LAFD Support Group and with the LAFD Department Chaplains to bring comfort and assistance to our LAFD family.
In addition, there are many other professionals and volunteers that will be assisting our efforts in areas of grief and family counseling.
The LAFD Family Support Group would like to thank all those who have already joined the group and committed to be a part of this journey to meet the needs of our LAFD family members, widows and orphans.
Our hope is that those reading this article will want to join in and volunteer their time, talent and skills. This is a dynamic group of people, reaching out to do an incredible job for our LAFD family. Please consider becoming a part of this incredible journey.
If you would like to assist the LAFD Family Support Group by volunteering your time, talent and skills, please contact the LAFD Support Group by email at lafdfsg@gmail.com
By Rick Godinez, LAFD Chaplain