My wife and I dined at our favorite Italian restaurant in Las Vegas the other night. It’s just a hole-in-the-wall place but the food is fantastic. After piggin’ out on garlic bread and wine, the waiter brought our food and asked if we wanted some aged parmesan cheese grated over our plates. My wife declined but I didn’t. This block of cheese was about the size of brick and about as heavy. About the time my meal was completely covered with cheese, a large corner of the block fell off into my plate. I attempted to give it back but the waiter stated that, “By state law, once the cheese hits your plate, it’s yours.” Of course he also mentioned that the piece that broke off was worth about $25, but gave me his blessin’s and said, “Enjoy!” Ever had extra SHARP parmesan cheese? Well, take it from me, it’s better than passin’ gas on a crowded MTA bus. I think two of my heart valves temporarily went into “emergency shutdown mode,” but I immediately downed another glass of vino and that seemed to solve the problem. Oh yea, that cheese was worth the near death experience.
There’s no shortage of entertainment in Las Vegas, especially the folks you see walkin’ from casino to casino. And there’s also no shortage of homeless folks, who provide extra entertainment by beatin’ on drums, playin’ guitars or just singin’ as you approach the various hotel entrances. I think their thought is to get a few bucks outta you before you enter the casino, or to try to make you feel guilty that your money is better spent on them.
Well, I didn’t fall for that “guilty” trick because I came to the frightenin’ realization that my wife hadn’t bought any jewelry or handbags in a month. What would happen if a new sparklin’ diamond ring or Louis Vitton handbag caught her eye and all I had to show her was an empty money clip? I’d have some serious explainin’ to do!
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Retired guys’ breakfast in Thousand Oaks in January
